… of playing without a purpose.
I`ve been quite stressed lately, I have always an insane amount of things in my to do list, and the results of the hard work don´t come back the way they should be. Even if it doesn`t seem so from the outside, trying to make a living out of a creative-artistic-personal-ethical-freelance job is very tough most of the time. Don`t get me wrong, I am fully aware that there are paths much more harder than this one, but that doesn`t ease the concerns.
It`s difficult to flow and enjoy with so much uncertainty, so many wonderings about what you should do to make it work and -mainly- the weigh of “it`s all in your hands” quote (which by the the way, is a common but fake belief).
It`s been a while since I have troubles to trust my work and future, and I lose the sense of what I` ve chosen to do. That`s the truth. And as you will know, this is a fundamental attitude to get things done in a bright way and to be brave enough to make some moves. My catch 22 situation also applies to logistics, but that is a much more boring matter, so I` ll preserve you from it ;)
This said, there`s still hope. I think I am starting to make small steps, to change my mindset to feel the joy in a regular basis, relax and stitch by stitch be confident again.
Yesterday I decided to mow the grass of my cat´s pot, it was so beautiful that I collected it in one of my favourite dishes. I bought this wavy jewel in a flea market in a time where I was obsesed to find bathtubs for the ladies, this never served to that purpose, not until now. The bowl of grass was literally asking me to come inside, so I did it the only way I could: get the -first- bathing lady out of her foam bath and give her a grass bath. Lucky her.
Of course she is again taking her regular bath in her white and blue bathtub… You know, grass baths are rare experiencies that don`t last long. If anytime you have the chance, don´t doubt it, leave all behind and get into it.